September 10th, 2019.
My name's Heinrich Wald and I'm 3, and this is my first day of Kindergarten. My first impression? Well, it looks like the jungle of Indiana Jones: it's a total mess! The children run like monkeys, the teachers shout at the top of their voice (and then they say kids are more muddler...), toys, tempera and paper everywhere...
As soon as we enter the classroom, the teacher calls the roll and brings us to the greatest part of the whole building: the toys wardrobe! It's a real paradise, you can get lost in it: toy cars, huge boxes of LEGO bricks, kitchen and living room playsets...
But my eye catches something else: a Barbie dolls collection. I'm amazed by those curvy shapes, the blonde hair, the extremely fashioned gadgets...I can't resist the temptation and I grab one to analyze it and contemplate it. It's smooth, it has blue eyes like a summer sky, a perfect body...
But my admiration is interrupted by a loud scream: "Heinrich is playing with a doll!!!" A huge laughter starts immediately: I can't stand it, it has something devilish. "Heinrich is playing with dolls! Heinrich is a pansy! Heinrich has alien blood! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Then, a maleficent choir starts and goes on until midday, when the teachers let us spend our break in the courtyard. Everyone follows their clique and doesn't care about me: finally some peace, I couldn't wait any longer! The park is quite big and entertaining as well. The first place that attracts me is a wonderful swing with a princess-like structure, painted with shades of purple, pink and blue. I try to break the ice with some girls sitting on it, but the squalls start again before I can create a reasonable sentence: "Heinrich is talking with females! Heinrich IS a female! Heinrich must be taken out!!! Guys, get ready".
In a split second, everyone jumps over me and smother me with blows and hits, and, after that, they dig a deep hole and they bury me into it. "You are a piece of human garbage, and garbage must be buried! Take this!" they shout at me throwing shovels of soil.
But here comes a courageous heroine: my teacher! She get closer to the hole and makes all the other children run away with her high heels and her imposing figure. But...she hasn't come to defend me. She gives me a dirty look and yells at me:
"How can you think this is a good way of having fun? Look at how dirty you've got!"
I reply angrily: "I didn't go here, THEY did everything! *pointing my finger to my classmates*"
She doesn't believe me, though: "It's the first day of school, and you already treat your peers this way? What a good start!". She's out of nerves, and she decides to phone my mum, who picks me up with a very gloomy face.
She throws me in the car and she drives so fast that she risks to kill all the other drivers. She picks me out of the car and flings me on the floor. Here starts another bunch of blows and slaps and so on, while she shouts in a rage: "How dare have you done this? Touching dolls, talking to females instead of males, being so...I don't know...QUEER! You don't think about me, d'ya? You know that, if you keep behaving like this, I will be blamed not for giving a good education? And you know that it's YOUR fault if me and Dad split up and my family doesn't want to see me because you're different? When will you get these facts in your head? You're in a SOCIETY, and society doesn't accept people who are different! I will be forced to be ashamed of you for the rest of my life! You're disgusting!"
She beats me in the bath with a lot of power to wash me. A jet of chilly water runs on my bruises and mixes with my blood. It's a beyond-words sensation. I feel like crying, either for the pain and for my horrible day, but Mum slaps me once again: "You're a male and you're in a society! Crying is for females!"
She dries me off and flinges me naked on my bed, with my clothes aside. I'm too depressed to think about getting dressed. I close my eyes for a while, and I dream to be in a new bedroom: a delightful canopy bed made of pink silk, dolls, stuffed animals, plushes and Sailor Moon comics. THIS is my world, not the "society" that Mum describes.
September 17th, 2019.
I thought all that mess that happened yesterday was just a matter of one day and then everything was going to end there, but I was wrong: everyday I suffer more or less the same treatment of the first day. I can't even barely think about a pink thing, because this makes the living hell take place: they stick cruel nicknames I don't know their nicknames of: "fairy", "fag", "poof", "dick-licker"...My teachers don't even care: they say it's just ''pure rivalry between males and females'' and ''it will end in the future''.
In the meanwhile, Mum is getting new habits: for example, she takes me everyday to the park hoping that I will start playing with males and my "fairyness" will die out. But what do fairies have to do with this? And, honestly, I really can't please Mum: males look like unknown and scary planets to me. Instead, I've got a weird harmony with females: just a glance and a new female friendship is born. I can't explain it.
Today was a much more terrible day than usual, since some other women sitting near Mum were commenting my female approaches:
"Hahahaha have you seen him?"
"Yeah! How ridiculous, hahahaha"
"I just hope he's not going to wear a feather hat and a G-string like in Rio de Janeiro!"
Mum was furious and took me home covering all my body and holding me tight on her body.
"Mum, why are you doing this? I'm not feeling cold!"
"You must be humble, my dear son..."
But I'm afraid she's actually ashamed. When we get back home, she starts repeating the same old story: I'm a male, I must be friend of males, I'm in a society, and so on. In fact, Mum is the rowdiest inhabitant of the whole apartment building, and this leads everyone to go to the window to see what's happening. But nobody operates, because they've alreasy got enough to do: the doorwoman is always on the phone, the neighbor of the 4th floor is taking a shower and the caregiver of the old people is looking after another old man. Why do they keep their eyes closed in front of this disaster? Why do they think I'm invisible?